LGBT Spirit Day is upon us, and that means it’s time to honor victims of bullying by wearing purple. To further motivate us to don our finest fuchsia for the big day, here are 25 perfect purple things.
1. Daniel Radcliffe in perfect purple
2. Adam Lambert’s perfect cover of “Purple Haze” (complete with gay lip-lock)
4. Tinky Winky, perfectly demure
5. Madonna’s luscious leotard in the “Sorry” video
6. “Violet,” only the best Hole song
7. The grape goodness of Sailor Saturn (Too bad Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are the real LGBT stars in that universe)
8. Judy Funnie’s flawless wardrobe on Doug.
9. Robert Pattinson matches a suit to his icy purple-white flesh
10. Aladdin and Jasmine in astounding lavender resortwear
11. Ostro, the Super Mario Bros. 2 foe who — according to the game’s manual — “thinks he’s a girl.”
12. Carrie Bradshaw’s casually/insanely extravagant skirt
13. Amethyst, the refined, Kool Aid-colored birthstone
14. Gaia, Captain Planet‘s personal recycling sorceress
15. Violet Beauregarde’s blueberry-tinged glow: “I feel FUNNY!”
16. Elizabeth Taylor’s Crayola-infused eyes
17. The Purple People Eater starring Neil Patrick Harris, Shelley Winters, and Chubby Checker. Perfect.
18. Do you like lavender? Consider relocating to LAVENDER HEAVEN.
19. Professor Plum with the lead pipe in our hearts.
20. Candy Land’s dandy Lord Licorice is auber-whelming in aubergine.
21. Did you know grape Mike and Ikes are called “Jolly Joes”? Never forget.
22. The grape gauntness of Waluigi. Please enjoy the queer theory about Waluigi I’ve enclosed below.
From Jenny Powell: Mario has Princess Peach and is seen to be the embodiment of heterosexual happiness but rumour and counter rumour surround his brother Luigi. Whilst sometimes he is paired with Princess Daisy there are enough hints and innuendoes dropped throughout the Nintendo universe that suggest Luigi is not quite cut from the same cloth as his brother. If we take it that yes, Luigi is a closeted homosexual – and this is by no means a controversial reading – then he is clearly a non-threatening cuddly and slightly cowardly homosexual stereotype. What then of Waluigi – his warped reflection? Waluigi is the negative stereotype: the cowardice curdles to malice and spite, the cuddly curves become jutting sharp edges – he is aggression without machismo. Whilst Bowser and Wario have simple motivations – lust for the Princess, lust for money – Waluigi poses more difficult questions, he seems to reject the patriarchal and capitalist urges of his villainous contemporaries. He wants something else, on one hand he is an avatar for fear of the homosexual other, on the other he is the truly liberated individual, he rejects the façade of the Mushroom Kingdom: he wants no part of the (Mario) party.
23. Tyler Oakley’s marvelous mauveness
24. Adam Lambert is back, and this time he’s even purpler and also the Mad Hatter’s cool aunt.
25. Sigh. The Purple One.